The trouble with marketing (so far as I’m concerned, anyway) is that I can’t do it. I put this down to a fault in my marketing DNA, or ineffective potty training. The former is a hereditary trend that I can confirm because my dad had a pHd in hair-cutting and could only ever get five bob max., for a full-Monte haircut, and blow-dry. Or something.
I know that most marketing folks are a lot closer to their potties (might still be on ‘em for all I know) than I’ve been for a long time; but a cast-iron potty leaves its salutary mark. Even from those earliest moments, we were encouraged to advertise our gifts and expertise by placing them under tarps after burial at sea. Consequently, I couldn’t sell a bucket of water to a burning Eskimo.
Even allowing for that immense handicap, there is another that one must surmount before effectively surviving a ‘Marketing Strategy’. I’m not sure where that came from. Probably a weak moment while reading ’1984′. The readership of this arbiter of poor taste, which by now must number well into single figures (and I know who they all are), are all by this time straining to get some inside information on this ‘other handicap’.
I call it “sense and reason” and although it’s as rare an earth element as ‘Blowfeld-a-mite’ it will torpedo any marketing dingy and sink it deeper than the Atlantic Trench. I suffer from this defect a lot, which is why I have trouble with electricity bills and the like. There might be reasons for the bills, but I can never make any sense of them.
Which gets me to the reason for this blog. It’s my ‘Marketing Strategy’.
I have, at this very moment seen a huge flaw in my ‘Marketing Strategy’. So far as I know, robots rarely carry small change in their pockets, and as the visitors to this blog seem to be outnumbered to the power of some fabulous number, by robots, my little book sale idea seems destined for the slag heap. Draining board. Flush pile. Whatever.
So, in the unlikely event that you might want to waste a quid (dollar/euro/thing) on actually buying the sort of garbage you have just managed not to avoid, here is a link to Amazon Kindle.
This, I’ve just found, doesn’t work, which immediately starts a series of convoluted thought processes mostly dedicated to some sort of victimisation syndrome. The first being ‘Amazon Doesn’t Want Me!’ Let’s face it, my ‘marketing strategy’ is clearly as accessible as a distant mirage; a tortoise surrounded by cliffs of the Eiger within a minefield of razorwire.
Not, then, overly inviting. Never mind; somebody might accidentally fall over it while researching ‘Dentistry for Bricklayers’. We shall see.
The book is called ‘Star Truck. Tales of the Uninteresting.’ and it’s a collection of ten science fiction stories.
It’s got a BONUS TRACK as well. So if you didn’t like the first ten you get another to make you even more irritable. And that’s my best shot at a hard sell.